So, how does a social "go'er" "do'er" survive a quarantine? Well, you just do, as I'm sure you've discovered by now. The actual staying home part has been hard on us, we were so used to hitting museums, the zoo, parks, sports, activity centers, shopping, restaurants all the time. I spent the first half of quarantine stress baking all the things, and realizing how many necessities we were missing - new ipads, books, activities... and explaining to a 7, 3, and 1 year old why we couldn't go anywhere, often randomly hearing "mom when Covid is gone can we go to _____" poor sweet babies. I went overboard for every holiday, bought every food they wanted, and just tried to keep our home life and light and fun as you can when you are safely trapped at home for the common good.
The second half we hit the I'm tired of everything, there's nothing to eat, nothing to cook, nothing to do phase. And then we made a little escape and set things right in our world again. I've gone back to the therapy of the spin bike, which in the wise words of Elle Woods "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their [people], they just don't." But for real, I was the girl who worked out until the day before my last two babes were born, and for some reason this last go round it took me way too long to get back on that bike, but we've reconnected and it has been so good for my soul.
Since things don't seem to be going back to normal anytime soon, and we're all bound to hit that Covid Slump, I thought I'd share a few things that have helped our family during these unprecedented times.
1. Exercise! We have been going on way more family walks, rides, hikes, and hilarious attempts at family yoga. Sunshine and fresh air are good for the soul. When we move our bodies we are so much happier. And as I mentioned above Spin is one of my favorite things. We did a ton of research on the best spin bike when I was pregnant with our youngest and after an entire year of research, test riding, reading reviews, we settled on the Keiser M3i.
Occasionally I have little visitors during my workouts, but when you've got to spin, you've got to spin.
I love this bike, we've had it for over two years now, and it is one of the best purchases we've ever made. It is seriously nicer than any spin bike any of my gyms have had! I ride 5-6 days a week, either during nap/quiet time or after the kids go to bed. I've also heard amazing things about the Nordictrack, but haven't personally ridden it since it came out after we bought ours.
2. Keep a Schedule! I have found our days go much smoother when everyone knows what's expected of them and what the plan for the day is. We have tried and failed at many new "chore" charts over the past six months, but what has worked the best for us, is a good old fashioned list. I created lists for littles, and then slipped them into clear page protectors so they can mark them off each day and I don't have to rewrite the list other than filling in a few blanks. I also try to plan at least 2 outings a week - a hike, trip to a new park, the zoo now that ours is open, or a visit to one of the 3 families we are distancing with.
When my 8 and 4 year old know what's on the agenda for the day, they are more likely to get through their lists quickly and without complaint. Here is what their lists look like.
They earn points for the number of items completed each week which are added up for their goal prize. My eight year old is earning a yeti water bottle, and my four year old is earning a new dress up dress.
3. Celebrate! Find things to celebrate, whether it's a real event, something that make you happy, or just a random excuse. Last week I went to a few stores to get as many Polar jr. seltzer flavors as possible, and we had a tasting party with a fun charcuterie board. It was simple and the kids loved it.
We've also had four Quarantine birthdays, with one more this month. Finding ways to make it special without the traditional big friend party was easier than I thought. I did everything we would normally do except invite people over, or have a party at a fun location. They all loved their birthdays! Kids are resilient, they roll with it, and were just happy to have their celebration.
4. Say Yes! One of the hardest things about this pandemic is having to say "no" so often to things that used to be a yes. So we've started saying yes a whole lot more to other things. Reasonable dinner request - you bet. Family game night, of course. A mile long list for the grocery store, I'm on it. Extra movie nights, okay. A snocone machine, why not. Seriously, the little snowie was one of our best quarantine purchases! It makes the best fluffy snow! We've had snocones on repeat!
I know we can't say yes to everything, but finding things we can make happen makes it so much easier to "navigate these unprecedented times". Find those little things that bring you joy and make them happen.
5. Be Grateful. It's so easy to focus on the disappointments, many of which are very big - cancelled trips that have been planned for months or even years, cancelled celebrations, the loss of jobs, the loss of health or loved ones...there are some very real things to be bummed or even distraught about, but if we wallow in our sorrow we miss the little things that keep life bright. If you're having one of those days, just think of three things you're grateful for - I promise it will lift your mood. Today I am grateful for air conditioning on this 100 degree day, the health of my family, and the leftover halibut in my fridge that which will make dinner a snap. It is a scientific fact that focusing on the positive lifts our mood. So, what are you grateful for today?
6. Just Breathe. Somedays it just feels so overwhelming that all you can do is take a deep breath, and mumble mantras to yourself. A few of my favorites are "I can do hard things", "This too shall pass", and "I'm tougher than this problem". It's okay to stay in your jammies all day and have a screen-marathon, so long as it isn't every day, and it isn't making you feel worse overall.
It's okay to feel what you're feeling, this is a weird and stressful time, acknowledge your feelings, and when you feel ready make a plan to help yourself move to the next step. Maybe that's a walk, a long bath, or a drive alone, maybe that's admitting you need something bigger. If this isn't something you can navigate on your own, reach out to a friend or a mental health professional. Your mental health is too important to sweep under the proverbial rug. If you haven't been feeling right for more than a few weeks seek help. Help is there, don't be afraid to ask for what you need. This isn't going to last forever, we will make it through, and as always it's a little easier when we lean on each other - even if it's through phone lines and screens to keep us safe. Stay safe friends, you've got this.
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